How to overcome feeling not good enough

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (7).png

Are you struggling with not feeling good enough? No matter how much you accomplish or try, you still feel this lingering feeling of not being enough. You might be in a perpetual cycle of doing things to fill a void to distract yourself from feelings of unworthiness. 

Typically the narrative we tell ourselves about not feeling good enough derives from our upbringing. If you are fed messages by your caregivers that you are enough and valuable, you are more likely to have that foundation of self-acceptance and worthiness. If you were raised in an environment where you were criticised and felt like you had to shrink parts of who you are, you’re more likely to struggle with low self-esteem. However, it isn’t always this binary. Some people come from loving backgrounds who still suffer from not feeling good enough because of other negative experiences such as social media, bullying or even academic pressures. We are not born with feeling not good enough, we are taught to think that way about ourselves as a result of negative experiences we go through in life. 

Overcoming feeling not good enough is a process that takes times. When we’ve become accustomed to that feeling for such a long time, our brain convinces us that it’s a part of our reality which is non-fixable. By letting that narrative of unworthiness win, we cheat ourselves out of opportunities that will make us feel loved, valued and that invites emotional healing.  However, just because you don’t feel good enough right now doesn’t mean that you can’t change the narrative. You can choose to take control of how you think about yourself. 

Three reminders for when you don’t feel good enough:

1.  You are enough- You were born enough and nothing can take that away from you. Sometimes circumstances arise which make us doubt who we are. When we are used to disappointment, it reinforces that narrative that we aren’t enough for good opportunities, love or abundance. We believe that if we acquire more things, or become more of something else we would become more worthy. In a society where our value is closely tied to our status, material possessions, it’s normal to feel like this. Just because you don’t feel good enough in the present moment doesn’t mean that you always will.

2.  Comparison is the thief of joy- Not everyone has it all figured out. No one is in your lane and no one is your competition. When you compare yourself, you’re unfairly putting two completely different lives and human beings in competition with the other. You do yourself a disservice when you compare yourself. They don’t know the challenges you’ve endured. Your progress does not have to look like anyone else’s. This is your life and you are in control.

3.  Give yourself love- You’re deserving of love and compassion even when you feel like you aren’t enough. Shower yourself with appreciation and love always but especially when you don’t feel good about yourself.  Nothing is inherently wrong with you just because you feel this way. Acknowledging that you are struggling is the first step to transformation. 

Five tips to help you overcome feeling not good enough:

1. Inner Child Work- Inner child work is an opportunity to resolve your childhood emotions and experiences. Go into a quite space and write down all the negative experiences you remember in your childhood. Then reflect on how they may have impacted you by asking yourself; has this experience shaped the way I think about myself now?  When you start to see a direct correlation between not feeling enough and your childhood experiences, you’ll start to see that the way you feel is a narrative that has been taught to you but can be changed. If this work is too much for you, I would suggest seeking help from a therapist who would be able to offer you professional support. 

2. Get intimate with your inner critique- In order to fully understand why you don’t feel good enough, you have to unravel your thoughts. Next time you find yourself not feeling good, interrupt your chain of thought and ask yourself the following; How you are feeling? Why do I feel like this and what triggered those feelings? Then start to think about alternative ways you can look at the problem.

3. Separate yourself from your negative thoughts- When negative thoughts about yourself arise, try to separate yourself from the thoughts you are experiencing. For example; if you feel not good enough say “my thoughts are telling that i’m not good enough”. You will begin to gain better perspective and start to realise that we can change the narrative we tell ourselves. 

4. Mantra- Write down anything that can trigger you into feeling like you’re not good enough. For example; being rejected from an opportunity. Find or create your own affirmations that you can refer to when those feelings arise. Find some comforting words that help you feel good and refer to them when you’re feeling low. 

5. Talk to someone- The hardest thing is going through it alone. Talk to a friend or family member and tell them how you’re feeling. If you need extra help, look for a support group near you or call your GP and ask for to get in contact with a therapist service. 

Questions to you:

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

What advice would you offer a friend who feels like this?

I’d love to hear from you! 

Love, Ash xx


Copyright © AshAlves 2019, All Rights Reserved

54 thoughts on “How to overcome feeling not good enough

  1. I think that meditating, eating healthy fresh vegetables, having some sports in moderation , going out to nature , sleeping and rising early are all ways for relieving stress and healing depression …
       Sure ,  I am talking about normal cases that do not require a psychiatrist…
    Plus good karma and unconditional spiritual love transform and transmute lower frequency emotions into higher ones of peace , unconditional love and blissful ecstacy…
       Ascension in levels of consciousness , presence  and awareness are important …

    Liked by 3 people

    • Those are amazing tips! I’ve found that they have helped me too especially exercising, eating plant based foods and meditating. There’s ways we can heal ourselves without medical & external intervention. Yes I love that you mentioned Spirituality. I know know that helped me a lot in my journey. Amazing! Thank you for such great advice 💞

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We live in a society that has a negative impact on people not feeling that they are not enough. People are not free to be who they are. Spouses picking apart their partners for what they see as flaws. Parents degrade their children with verbal abuse. Workplaces making people feel like their best isn’t good enough. I lived with this feelings for years until I stop and got clarity as to why others thought I was good enough.
    What I discovered is that I needed to surround myself with new people that saw me for me and that support my growth

    Liked by 3 people

    • You mentioned such an important point! The types of people that we surround ourselves around has a significant impact on the way we think about ourselves. It is inevitable that we are going to be in situations where our integrity & who we are is questioned however when we are surrounded by people who affirm & value us within our relationships, we are more likely to believe in how inherently valuable we are. Thank you for reading and commenting ☺️🌷

      Liked by 2 people

  3. This is a beautiful article and blog I am experiencing this right now and I feel like it’s because of the abusive environment I grew up in @Dragthepen I completely agree with you. Change the people your around, surroundings, and thought processes 💙

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Hi Ash. Some good points there. I don’t think I have ever felt not good enough. But to anyone who does, I would say that you are unique. There is no one quite like you. You were made with all sorts of gufts and talents and unique personality traits. Concentrate on those and develop them. Soon, you’ll be flying 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes you’re right! We do need to focus on the parts that make us unique. The more we pour our energy into affirming ourselves, the better our lives will be. Thanks for reading and stopping by ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Feeling not good enough is a feeling that comes now an then to everyone and it might not be something you should worry about because it might make you to have this edge of doing something with more dedication but if in everything you do you don’t feel good enough then now you must worry and do something about that.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hmm that’s very true! Yeah it’s not necessary something for people to worry about and for them do intense work around. I’ve always struggled with it so I’m coming from the perspective of someone who keeps having to address this problem of not feeling like enough. It’s important that we identify when it becomes unhealthy and a continuous theme in our lives. Thank you for reading 🌻


    • That’s very true! If we surround ourselves our people who elevate us & listen/ read things of higher vibrations, it can really change the way we think about ourselves. Thank you very much ☺️💜

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Genuinely really appreciated this piece! One part in particular is something that we often neglect to remind ourselves of in times of despair; comparison is the thief of joy. There will always be persons lesser and greater than ourselves!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks so much Elouise for your insight and reading this! And yeah comparison really takes the fun out of life and it does not serve us in any way. Thats so true and that’s why it’s important for us to appreciate what is available to us. 🌷


  7. I truly love your blog.. Pleasant colors & theme.
    Did you make this amazing site yourself? Please reply back as I’m looking to create my own personal
    site and would like to know where you got this from or exactly what the
    theme is named. Cheers!


  8. Pingback: Some of my Fav Blog Posts of 2019 :-) – The Beautiful Savage💖

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s